Happy July Fourth!!

I thought I would be somewhat lighthearted today to celebrate the Fourth.

This is for my friends and relatives in Alabama, I think it pretty much applies to Louisiana too.



YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN ALABAMA IN JULY WHEN. . .



-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

-The trees are whistling for the dogs.

-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

-Hot water now comes out of both taps.

-You can make sun tea instantly.

-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. (This has happened to me many times)

-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out

and add butter, salt and pepper.

-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

-Ah, what a place to call home.

- God Bless Our State of Alabama!!



20 Ways to Know if You're a True Alabamian...



1. You can properly pronounce Conecuh, Cahaba, Opelika, Sylacauga, Oneonta, and Eufaula.

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.



3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.



4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.



5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.



6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.



7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.



8. You measure distance in minutes.



9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.



10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.(I usually touch the window)



11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.



12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.



13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.



14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.



15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.



16. You know everything goes better with Ranch Dressing.



17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.



18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.



19. You have used your heater and air-conditioner in the same day! (Multiple times, I thought it was hormaonal not Alabamian)



Finally: You are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation:

20. "You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr Pepper."



Here are some special "Independence Day" comments:



"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — ..."



"...We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.


— John Hancock
New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton



Bold and Italics Mine

How all business phones should be answered.......

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA .


Press "1" for English.

Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English.

And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,

Jesus Christ

and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.



One More and then I'll get off of my soap "patriotic" box:

This is by Andy Rooney:



DID YOU KNOW? As you walk up the steps to the building which houses the U.S Supreme Court you can see near the top of the building a row of the world's law givers and each one is facing one in the middle who is facing forward with a full frontal view .. It is Moses and he is holding the Ten Commandments!



DID YOU KNOW? As you enter the Supreme Court courtroom, the two huge oak doors have the Ten Commandments engraved on each lower portion of each door.



DID YOU KNOW? As you sit inside the courtroom, you can see the wall, Right above where the Supreme Court judges sit, A display of the Ten Commandments!



DID YOU KNOW? There are Bible verses etched in stone all over the Federal Buildings and Monuments in Washington , D.C.



DID YOU KNOW? James Madison, the fourth president, known as "The Father of Our Constitution" made the following statement:

"We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."



DID YOU KNOW? Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said:

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ".



DID YOU KNOW? Every session of Congress begins with a prayer by a paid preacher, whose salary has been paid by the taxpayer since 1777.



DID YOU KNOW? Fifty-two of the 55 founders of the Constitution were members of the established orthodox churches in the colonies.



DID YOU KNOW? Thomas Jefferson worried that the Courts would overstep their authority and instead of interpreting the law would begin making law an oligarchy . The rule of few over many.



DID YOU KNOW? The very first Supreme Court Justice, John Jay, said: "Americans should select and prefer Christians as their rulers."



How, then, have we gotten to the point that everything we have done for 220 years in this country is now suddenly wrong and unconstitutional?



It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, it is very hard to understand why there is such a mess about having the Ten Commandments on display or "In God We Trust" on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the other 14% to Sit Down and SHUT UP!!!



This may sound harsh, but I am getting tired of the vocal minority directing the course of our lives. I want my grandchildren to be proud of their heritage and be free to call on God and share their faith.

Comments are welcome and please feel free to forward to the ACLU.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe holiday.