Women

I don't think women get enough credit for all they do. Many things that women do are expected to be done, and they get no credit for it. So this is for all of you strong women and the men you have chosen to allow into your life.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in Fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men.

A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer
back to # 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless
she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking
you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. That will bring on a
'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying *&%+!*&

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself.

This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'

For the woman's response refer to # 3.


One Flaw In Women
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands."


The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."


But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."


The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."


"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."


"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate."


The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."


"That's not a leak,"
the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.


The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."


And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend..
They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.